Posted by: Bonnie Anderson | July 3, 2011

CSI Poop Patrol

Once again I am here to offer the latest “scoop” from last week’s newspaper, just in case you missed it.  This time my local paper, The Orlando Sentinel, picked up an item from The Palm Beach Post.  I’ll condense if here for you.

Doggie Doo may have met its match as owners of dogs at one local condo in Jupiter, Florida, must now pay $200 in order to have their pet’s genetic fingerprint taken and kept on file in case of lax owners who allow their doggies to make deposits in the wrong place.  In the case of a match (which reminds me of finding a flaming bag of the stuff on my front step), the owner may be fined up to $1,000.

The very fact that this is a newsworthy story is amazing to me.  First of all, dogs don’t have fingerprints so I would propose re-wording “genetic fingerprint” to state genetic pawprint.  This might avoid legal loopholes.

I am picturing a team of people doing poop patrol, the thought of which goes beyond disturbing.  But I do think I get it.  I am figuring there are hundreds of jobs being created just to deal with the poop problem, kind of like the government but on a much smaller scale.  Here’s the chain – dog defecates, poop patrol collects evidence in a plastic tube, tube is mailed to a company in Knoxville where it is tested.  Yes, in a poor economy feces identification is a booming business.  Franchises are spreading across the country.

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