Posted by: Bonnie Anderson | July 5, 2011

Let’s Talk – You go First

I’m reading The Afternoon of Life by Elyse Fitzpatrick.  It’s a wonderful book geared to women like me who are in the phase of life between empty nest and Social Security.  The sentence, “…we’re free to spend all evening talking to each other…if we’re so inclined,” from the chapter Just the Two of Us prompted a chuckle as I thought about a recent conversation between my husband and me.  We were passing a familiar stretch of road when I noticed a sign advertising a business called “African Hair Braiding.”  We launched into a conversation about hair braiding, African style.  We discussed everything from how and how often one can wash their hair while keeping the braids, how long it takes to have it done, and how anyone can get some of the lovely braids accomplished on children with them being such wiggly subjects.

Finally I looked at Bob and said, “We’ve hit the bottom here.  There must be nothing left to discuss for us.  Here we are, two white people going on and on about a subject we know nothing about.” 

The quote from the book is true.  We do have a lot of time to talk.  It also reminded me of a little game I used to play with Bob.  It’s called “Let’s Talk.  You go first.”  I made it up one day while we were driving and we had been quiet for a long time.  This is how it works.  I’ll say to Bob, “We need to talk.”  He will think I have a topic or concern to share with him.  That’s where the fun begins.  When he says okay, let’s talk.  I say, “You go first.”  Bob just loves this game (is there an icon I can insert here to show sarcasm?).  I don’t play it too often, I don’t want to wear it out.  I will say, though, that we do play sometimes because it really is important to just take the time to talk.  Silly conversations often lead to more deep ones.



  1. Love your definition of the “afternoon phase” of life!

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