Posted by: Bonnie Anderson | October 13, 2011

Terror in the Night

You know the old saying, “Faster than a pregnant woman jumping across the front seats of her van while trying to escape an aggressive frog.”  I got to witness that first hand last night.

We watched our daughter Dena’s three children while she and her husband went out on a date Wednesday night.  We had a great time with the kids, and they filled us in on their lives.  The girls covered everything from math lessons to dance class to the new sleeping arrangement for their dog.

When the parents returned to pick up their sleeping children we had a nice visit with them and caught up a little.  The one story the girls forgot to tell us about involved Ella, who is six.  Ella couldn’t find her shoes to come to our house and she told her mom she thought they were in the car.  Ella went out to the van and found not one but three pairs of shoes.  She also found a tree frog in the car and it was a traumatic experience, as most things are for Ella.

Mom tried to put on a brave front for Ella and assured her that the frog could not be found so it must have jumped out.  They drove to our house to drop off the kids with no sighting.  They drove to dinner with no sighting.  They went to a movie and returned to our house – all with no sign of the frog.

When it was time for them to go home their dad, Uncle Scott and Bob picked up the sleeping children and carried them out to the van.  Dena and I walked along with all their loot (so much loot).  It was a lovely, star-filled, quiet night.  Peaceful.  The kids were all strapped in and snuggling down in their seats for the ride home.  Dena and Derek said their goodbyes, and Dena got in the car while we talked to Derek for a moment.  I’m glad he had not gotten in the car yet, because he would have been crushed by the momentum that sprung from her seat.

We heard the scream and saw a flash of motion as Dena catapulted herself over the seats and out the driver’s door.  In the short two seconds that it took her to reach us on the street she had become aerobic.  Did I mention she’s three months pregnant?  She is amazing!

The fun really began at this point as Ella was once again traumatized and began sobbing in the back seat of the van.  Mia looked concerned but was too far gone in sleep to care.  Jett is three so he thought it was great.

Brave, fearless Derek entered the car.  He was determined to get that frog.  After a couple of minutes he did not have the required result for Dena to get back in the car.  I thought she was going to spend the night and then finally we saw the little varmint hop out of the car and onto the roof.  They clicked the key fob to close the sliding doors.  It was intense.  Would the doors close before the frog re-entered the car?  Would Dena go home with her family?  Would Ella stop freaking out in the back seat?  I tell you, it’s the stuff movies are made out of (B movies).

The doors closed and the frog was on the roof.  Bob shoed him off and they went home, I assume with Ella still crying in the back seat.

When we were in the frog-free safety of our house, I reminded Bob that she comes by her frog disdain honestly.  I, too, am frogophobic.  I thought I had done a good job of hiding this from my kids (who am I kidding?) so that they would not develop this paralyzing malady, but I guess it’s in the genes, or in the case of last night on Dena’s jeans.

I remember when my kids had their suspicions confirmed that I not only hated frogs but was afraid of them.  The little boy next door (who will remain nameless because his family still lives there) tried to show me a frog one time.  He picked up on my fear like a junk yard dog and proceeded to chase me around the yard under the pretense of showing me the frog.  That was a long time ago and I have forgiven Jeremy (oops).

As we put our house to bed for the night I was still a little agitated about the events of the evening.  I told Bob I don’t understand the aggressive nature of the frog.  He, being the problem solver that he is, summed it up for me.  He claims the frogs are out for revenge on humans for all the dissections they have performed on them over the years.  Sounds about right to me.

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Responses

  1. You waste no time telling my saga, do you? 🙂 We were driving home and I just couldn’t stop laughing- I was crying from laughing so hard. I haven’t moved that fast in a while! Derek informed me that I just made the Ship to Tarshish and boy was he right! Glad to provide you with a story. By the way- Ella only cried half the ride home and Jett informed us that he was big and would protect us from the frog that tried to get in my belly with the baby. Not sure where that side of the story came from, but he’s 3. 🙂

    • I’m glad you got your FB post in first, but of course I’m ripe for writing something with this crazy challenge going on. Thank you, again. Glad Ella was only half-traumatized and that you have Jett to protect you. Joe was always the guy for me. He’d get everything. How I miss him! You may want to read Moggie’s comment. We think frogs are bad!

  2. That was very funny… congratulations on the ‘new’ grand child to be…we have six and they are little miracles. Hope you rested well after that event.

    • Thank you, Sharon. I did finally sleep. I was still a little groggy from the other two spending six days with us, but I’m awake now. It is wonderful being a gramma.

  3. I wonder how fast she could have moved last night in my living room as a RAT came out from behind the TV and looked me in the eye??!!Still don’t know where the booger is!
    Moggie

    • Oh no! I imagine she would have moved faster! What did you do? How did you sleep? Where’s your stupid cat? Do you want to come spend the night? Bob went to Do It Yourself and got rat poison. He made a “T” out of PVC pipe and put the poison in so cats and dogs can’t get it. You might want to put some around. Yuck!

  4. I hate frogs too, Bonnie. Great post – ranks right up there with suspenseful Hitchcock thrillers. I can see it played out in sepia tones, silent and only organ music in the background. “Frogophobia!”

    • Thanks, Debi. We have so much in common! I wish I had the time to do pictures on this one, but I’m trying to do them fast this week.

  5. Every morning when I make my energy ball for the day I pout in something that makes me laugh out loud. Thanks, Bonnie. Done! 😉
    When I was little I used to9 catch frogs and turtles to be my pets. Alas they always escaped and disappeared. (I think they had help from my mom or brother who preferred not having them in the house.)
    Seriously, if you ever want to get rid of that fear I can make that happen.

    • Thanks for the lovely comment, Ali. I can relate to your mom and brother. I do exagerate the fear for comedic value. The truth would be more that I just don’t like them. I don’t like the way they jump around and you don’t know they’re coming and I don’t like it when they get in the house for the same reason. It would be more true to say that they just give me the creeps. Thank you for your kind offer, though.

  6. I think I might have had a few contractions reading that one Bonnie! That was intense! ;). If you haven’t put me into labor we’ll be at Metro on Sunday and will probably see who is available for lunch after if you’re free. ❤

    • Take it easy there, my friend. I think we are free on Sunday, though not sure if Bob is playing golf or not. Either way, I’m looking forward to seeing you and the family then.

  7. I’m glad I’m the only one who notices the unwanted traits being handed down. I have a mini-me in my house. She looks like I did at that age and acts like I did. But she is a little braver and a little more out going than me, so I’m glad that she is like her daddy in that respect. Oh…she also loves bugs and frogs. We had a toad in our garden this summer and the girls made me stop weeding so that I would stop scaring the toad.

    • Thanks for commenting, Jennifer. It really is like looking in the mirror sometimes when we see our kids…and now grandkids for me. When I look at Ella, I see myself sometimes. Thank God for daddies!

  8. wonderful fun Bonnie I giggled much , but do you not thik the frogphobia could be connected to the people from france?
    Shirl discovered a tree frog on the beach in british columbia…. below high tide mark

    • Thank you, Roger. I had not linked the frophobia to people from France and just learned from Bob that French people are sometimes called frogs. Who knew? I am so sheltered.

  9. A frog’s revenge? Sounds about right to me, too! Funny story.

    • Thanks, Beth, for reading and commenting.


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