Posted by: Bonnie Anderson | October 26, 2011

Angry ALF

Well, I made an old lady very angry today.  I didn’t mean to, but I greatly offended her.  For a minute I thought she was going to spit on me.

As I told you yesterday I’m shopping for an assisted living facility for my father-in-law.  My method is the pop-in.  I know it’s rude to drop in on people unexpectedly, but in my mind that is the way I will get the most honest view of life as I see the residents going about their daily activities or lack thereof.  Then I will make an appointment (or not) to come back and get the low-down from an administrator.

I popped into the ALF that is about a mile from my home.  There were people sitting out on the front porch and milling around the yard.  I walked past a lady who said quite a lot to me in Spanish.  I nodded and said hello, much too quietly I’m afraid.  I got the nickel tour of the place and observed six residents on the sectional couch sleeping slouched over in front of the TV.  This was 10:30 this morning.  I went through the kitchen and saw the boxed pizzas from Costco being heated.  I saw the small bedrooms and the shared bathrooms.  One bathroom freshly mopped only around the commode.  It was a really cool old home, but I wouldn’t even let my father-in-law consider it.  It was depressing.

As I left the tour and passed by the porch people, the aforementioned lady started really giving it to me in Spanish.  I don’t think she was complimenting me on my hair style either.  Finally someone translated – she was angry that I passed by her and didn’t say hello.  I told her in Spanish that I was sorry (so thankful for those two years in high school).  That was not good enough for her though and then she let me have it in English.  If she had only started with that!  Oh well, as The Romantic Vineyard posted yesterday, I felt badly for her.  It’s so sad to be so angry.

I remember when I was younger that it seemed so satisfying to return anger for anger.  Now I know how false that satisfaction is.  As I left I realized that I had given her a story that she will probably talk about all morning.  She gave me an example of why I can’t afford to let anything but the Peace of God rule my heart and mind, and she made me realize how grateful I am for that Peace.  I pray she will experience it as well.

If you would like to read the above-mentioned post from the Romantic Vineyard, click this link



  1. Ah, what timing! I’ve been arguing with myself about sending a scathing e-mail to someone who deserves it (actually, deserves many!). This and Debi’s blog convinces me to leave it in God’s hands. Now, by putting it in writing in this post, I can’t argue myself the other way.

    As always, Bonnie, you’re a blessing and inspiration!

    • God’s timing in all things is so amazing to me. Thankful he used this in your life.

  2. I hope you find a wonderful place for your Dad.

    • Thank you, Jennifer. I have officially finished my foot work and have 3 lovely places for him to choose from. Feels good.

  3. oh my gosh Bonnie , I thought you were referring to an Alien Life Form… ALF

    • I may have been, Roger. One really never knows.

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