Posted by: Bonnie Anderson | May 15, 2012

I Have a Plan that Just Might Undo the Entire Postal System

My father-in-law does his part to support many organizations, especially the U.S. Postal Service.  Since he moved down here, I am getting more exercise than ever.  I often have to make two trips to the mailbox to make sure I don’t throw my back out carrying the heavy load of his mail plus the one or two pieces of ours (feel the burn).  I also went on Google and found a website where I can purchase the jaws-of-life, which I think will be a very useful tool for un-wedging mail from my bulging mailbox.

This picture is a few days’ worth of his mail.  It also represents his life before he moved into Assisted Living after the death of his wife.

He values the work done by local law enforcement.  He supported a television preacher.  His car choice varied between Nissan and Dodge.  He is a Republican and Republicans from all over the country know that.  He is concerned about government waste and keeps an eye on how judges rule.  He is a WWII vet and a member of AARP.  He likes to keep up with the news.  He tried Weight Watchers.  He enjoys going on cruises.  He belongs to Costco.  He likes catalogs that offer items to make the life of senior citizens easier.  The list goes on and on.

I considered hiring a personal assistant to go through the mail and send letters out to try to curtail the amount of stuff we have to go through, but that sounds like a job I’d like to take on myself.  My only concern is that since the Post Office is having financial difficulty, if I’m successful in cutting down his incoming mail, it could cost thousands of people their jobs.

But here goes anyway.  I have drafted the following letter.  Tell me what you think.

“Dear Sir or Madam, Thank you for your continuing interest in getting me to send you money and/or purchase products or services from you.  Due to the fact that I am legally blind and 89 years old, I will not be reading your information and I especially will not be buying a car.  I am still very civic minded, but due to the above reasons combined with the fact that my son and daughter-in-law open and read my mail for me (which might be a federal offense), I will not be sending you any more cash or business.

I do have one request.  In light of the years which I have supported you, would you please consider a small donation to my cause?  It’s pretty expensive living in an Assisted Living Facility, and it is my desire to be well cared for in my old age.  Any amount will do.  No donation is too small.  Just send it to my daughter-in-law, and she will distribute it where needed.  All donations are not tax deductible.  Thank you.”

I’ll let you know what kind of response I get as it is my intent to actually send these letters out in the postage paid envelopes that I receive.  Should be fun!

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Responses

  1. You go girl! You may be onto something here…just don’t let our Nazi mailman know about it. He may prosecute for the “federal offense” part. And I’m not kidding. 🙂

  2. you are a grand lady! Thank you for taking on dad AND his mail. I had forgotten how much you can tell about their lives by going thru the mail. Wish I could come visit when Beta is there. 😦

    • I wish you were coming, too. It won’t be the same without you.

  3. You could start a revolution that would turn our nation around!

    • I’ll try to use my power for good. Thanks!

  4. Hi Bonnie, Great Blogging. I just caught up. I hope I get to play Settlers of Catan with you guys. Have been busy with our house sale. It’s going – had our house inspection yesterday. We meet the new owners on Saturday – then drive to Portland, where I leave for my overnight flight. I’m looking forward to my trip – a respite before my life gets thrown into boxes and stored. I’m sure I can help Dad with some of his “issues” as well. Love, BA

    • Sounds like you have a lot going on fast. We’re looking forward to seeing you.

  5. Oh Bonnie – you just may begin a movement!

    My mom, who is in her 70’s, is a firm supporter of the Canadian Postal Service and I think I could create a list of all the charities in Canada just by collecting her mail! In addition, she CONSTANTLY is buying stuff, because if she buys something she gets this other do-dad FREE! grrrrrrr. (I can only use so many red patent manicure sets!)

    Love your post!

    • Thanks so much, Lori. You are pretty funny yourself, you know. Have you thought about opening up a nail spa? Sounds like you’re on your way.

  6. I’m glad someone else is trying to cure the postal deficit all by themselves!

    • Thanks. It’s a big job, Roy, but I think I’m up to it.

  7. Please send me one of those letters. I want to send you…ummm I mean him…money.

    • Thanks, Sheree, but I’ll only accept money from you in person. On second thought, forget the money, I just miss seeing you!


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