Forty Years of Dating

Table for Two

Bob and I started dating forty years ago.  Initially our conversations were all about us.  We were young and getting to know each other.

After we were married we continued to have date nights.  Our conversations turned more toward the events of the day and our future – still largely about us.

When the kids came along, we really started to value date nights, especially if eating out was involved.  Going to a restaurant (even fast food) and eating your meal while it’s hot – there’s nothing like it for a mom.  Throw in that you don’t have to cut anybody’s food, and it just doesn’t get much better than that.  Somebody else does the dishes – that’s a little piece of Heaven.  Date nights were times to break out of monosyllable and enjoy uninterrupted conversations, assuming I had any energy left.

As the kids became teenagers we kept up our date night routine.  It became a lifeline to each other.  Going to a restaurant meant that none of your sons was going to swoop in and eat more food than you thought was humanly possible while leaving you with the chicken neck and the heel of the vanishing loaf of bread.  The big problem here was that even though we would have a table for two, we managed to bring our kids along.  The conversation would inevitably turn to whichever one of the kids was having a problem or giving us problems.  Our mission – a quiet evening out with each other, a table for two with all kid-related topics left at home.

Now we’ve hit a new season.  Our kids are all grown, but we have Bob’s dad living down here in assisted living.  I take him to doctor appointments or run errands with him.  Bob helps him with his computer issues, of which he has plenty because he’s legally blind.  We try to spend time with him and happily incorporate him into our lives.  The problem is that now when we go out to dinner, we have “Dad stuff” to talk about.  Just when we got over the temptation to talk about our kids, now the topic of what Dad needs or is going through keeps coming to the surface.  Our new mission – a quiet evening out with each other, a table for two with all Dad-related topics left at home.

I’m wondering what the next phase will be.  Maybe a table for two with a new mission – trying to remember what we wanted to talk about all those years while cherishing memories that we’ve made together and planning for some more.  I’m not sure what the future will bring, but as I’m preparing for Valentine’s Day I’m looking forward to sitting across from my husband at dinner tonight and thankful for the blessing of sharing life with him.